Costco + Twin Toddlers = Headache

Maybe it was the holiday weekend, maybe the sun, or the fumes from the paint or a combo of them that made me think it was a good idea to do a family trip to Costco.  Those extra big carts are just so toddler friendly since they both fit in the seat that in most carts fits only one kid.  Of course the place was packed, but unless you go right when it opens and get your shopping done in like ten minutes, you are going to have to deal with the hoards doing the same thing you are… buying a bunch of crap that isn’t on “the list”.  So, there we are, hubs, Baby Beyoncé, Little Bird and myself, feeling confident that this trip is going to be different.  We are going to get in there, get what’s on the list, nothing more, and get the heck out of there.  Uh really?

We started out with list in hand, doing the Costco circle as I like to call it.  You circle around the middle where all the merchandise you really don’t need but ends up in your cart anyway resides.  I had every intention of trying my hardest to skip that area, and then I saw it…all the red, white and green lights.  They sparkled and danced.  They called to me.  The pull was just too much, just too much.  But what do you pass to get to all that Christmas crazy?  The freaking toys!!!  WTH!!!!  Little arms started reaching in every direction.  Little voices yelling “over dere, over dere!!!”  The pleading cry of “I need dat, neeeeeed”.  Before you can do anything, you are in toy hell.  Arms that I swear can stretch are throwing stuff into those oversized carts with the precision of some pitcher throwing out strikes… I mean really?  They can’t get blocks back in a bin at home but they can throw a truck into the cart without fail.

I whisper to my husband, “no worries, I’ll dump this crap as we go along”.  Unfortunately, my kids have gotten wise to my little trick.  They aren’t as easy to fool as they were just six months ago.  And with two pairs of eyes on guard it’s even more difficult.  Somehow, I try and fool myself that I’ve got the skills to do it.  Sadly, the receipt shows I don’t.  Uuugghhhh.

The toddler debauchery doesn’t end with the toys, oh no my friends, it continues through the food.  They way they act you would think we had forgotten to feed them for the past week.  My daughter goes crazy in the fruits and my son is the meat eater.  His eyes get so big and he starts licking his lips.  She calls out all the fruits and vegetables she wants saying “tummy hungry, need to fill it up”.  Thank goodness these two are freaking adorable!!!

By the time we make it through half of Costco to the side that isn’t as interesting to my twinadoes I’m done.  I just want to get out of there.  The list is gone, my sanity went with it.  My hubs has this look of “I need a beer”.  The kids realize there’s not a whole lot more that they want so the “want to go, want to go NOW!!” starts up.  I push our now overloaded cart towards the mile long lines with the determination of a mom needing a drink.  And yes, I will mow you down with our thousand pound cart.  Thankfully, the twinadoes are usually too busy checking inventory of all the crap they swiped off the shelves to make too much fuss in the line.  Sweet glory, receipt in hand, we are heading out the door!!

Costco next week?


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