This afternoon I converted Thing 2’s crib into a toddler bed. The physical part was actually quite simple, but the emotional part was a different story. I knew I would be a little upset, after all, she’s my baby, the youngest by two whole minutes. It’s so strange, on one hand I’m so excited for them to grow, learn and become little independent people, but on the other hand, when they do reach a milestone or reach another level of independence my heart hurts a little. I love seeing their faces when they light up with pride, filled with confidence and this eager gleam to do more. I know, it’s all a part of how things need to be, should be, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to grasp them a little tighter, hold their hand a little longer, and cuddle them even more while their little bodies perfectly fit mine while snuggled on the couch.
It’s moments like these that I think how awful I am when I reprimand them for doing something they shouldn’t, or losing my patience when they ask for the same thing for the one hundredth time. Just today I snapped at poor Thing 1 when he couldn’t tell me where he had put something, yes, I have my moments and I’m definitely not perfect. I want for them to remember their childhood as fun and positive, as a time the would love to go back to. But as much as I wish I would never have to be the “bad” mom, I know it’s my job to teach them what is acceptable and what is not, just as it’s my job to turn their cribs into a toddler bed.
So I’ll take a breather and prepare for the meltdown that will hopefully be much less after converting Thing 1’s crib into a toddler bed. I know it’s all part of the path of guiding my babies (no matter how old they are they will always be my babies) to become wonderful adults. But for now, one step at a time, my heart just can’t take too much at once!!