Gifts For New Parents…

I am no longer a new parent, my twinadoes are now three years old, but I know several people that are expecting.  Like most people, when I pick out gifts to celebrate the arrival of a new baby I tend to go for the tradition/normal items.  A cute outfit, little toys, a blanket, etc… you get the idea, but what I really want to get them are my top five items that they will really need.  I’ll list them in no particular order…

1.  Gorilla Superglue:  Your little darling (or darlings in my case) will break stuff.  Sure you think you will keep all breakables out of their reach and you will teach them “no touch”.  Get real, it’s not going to happen that way.

2.  Spray-n-Wash:  Kids are gross and are complete dirt, goop, unidentifiable I don’t want to know what the hell it is attractors.  This stuff WILL get all over your clothes and it will not come out with just regular laundry soap.

3.  Resolve Carpet Cleaner:  That brown spot on the rug…let’s just say you really don’t want to know what it truly is.  You will be amazed at how quickly you start seeing little spots all over the carpets and rugs.  You can only cover with so many throw rugs…

4.  Noise Cancelling Ear Plugs:  Do I really need to give an explanation?

5.  Ibuprofen:  Not just for the massive headaches you will get, but also the aches that you will get from carrying around that little bundle in some of the most awkward positions just to keep them asleep.

But to keep a positive spin on things be sure to tuck this stuff in with a nice soft blanket and a super cute outfit.



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