Last night I received a text from the realtor that he would be putting up the “SOLD” sign. Of course I was incredibly happy, this has been a loooooong time coming. Each month paying for a home we no longer live in, a yard we no longer enjoy (definitely didn’t mind texting the gardener that he no longer had to come after this month), a life we no longer live. It’s tough. Even tougher is hearing your children ask “when are we going home”.
I intend on going to the house a couple more times. There are peony tubers that were in my father’s yard that I dug up and planted everywhere I’ve lived, they must come with me. There are a few items in the garage that I’ll pack up and take. But what I really want to do is just say goodbye to the first home my twinadoes knew.
Not long after I left that home I mentally detached myself from it. When I go there it doesn’t feel familiar anymore, if feels so distant. However, if I stand long enough and let my mind wander I can get some of those feelings back. I can hear my kids banging into the cabinets on their little motorcycles, or smell that familiar home smell, get glimpses of how I had my home set up. But I can’t allow myself to do that, and I don’t.
My knowledge of the new owners is not much. I know what they do, where they are from, and their names. Honestly, I don’t want to know them. What I do want is for them to enjoy their home as much as I did. In a couple months there will be so many plants, herbs, and flowers coming to life in the garden, I almost want to leave them a note letting them know. But I won’t. I want to tell them how beautiful a Christmas tree looks in the front living room, but I won’t. I’ll let them experience their new home without my commentary. Bring in their life and world where mine once existed.
When we do the final signing I know there is a good chance I will meet them, and that’s ok. I’ll be pleasant, wish them well in their new home then head off to find my new home. This is an exciting time mixed in with some sadness. I hate saying goodbye, but with this goodbye comes a lot of hellos. So time for me to lock away the memories of our “snoho house” and get ready for all the new memories I’ll be making in our new home, wherever she may be.